CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "The strawberry shampoo doesn't taste as good as it smells."  Unknown

THIS IS:  Fabulous Florida Strawberry Month


Seems I can't do anything right these days.  I'm getting scolded by both mom and dad lately.  Take this morning for example.  I got into the cats litter box again.  Dad was so mad.  He yelled and slapped my butt and wouldn't let me out of the room.  He lectured me.  When mom found out what I did, she lectured me too.  But mom pets me while she lectures.

I got yelled at for chasing the cats again.  Why can't I chase the cats?  All they do is run and jump onto something I can't reach.  I won't hurt them.  Besides, it keeps them on their toes.  And I swear they know it's only a game we're playing.

Yes, I bark.  I'm a dog.  I'm only doing what dogs naturally do.  I'm protecting my humans and my siblings and my property.   How do I know that the person driving by our home isn't a card carrying NRA member ready to take aim.  The UPS and FEDEX guys give us fair warning with their noisy vehicles.  How do I know the packages they leave aren't some sort of bomb?  It happens all the time on TV.  Maybe those weird people driving around in golf carts want to harm us.  Can we ever be sure we are completely safe?  I'm just doing my job.

Dad really yelled at me the other night.  I barked at a possible intruder.  Dad got up to investigate, and he found the mess I made on the porch.  There were torn up kleenix and napkins all over the floor.  Dad was really mad, but couldn't yell too loud because mom was sleeping.  I sorta feel bad for what I did, but give a dog a break...I have so much fun tearing up paper products.  I should be praised for not tearing up papers on the desks or coffee table,  I also leave books alone.

I admit, I am a repeat offender of all of the above.  I'm just doing my job when I bark.  I enjoy playing chase with the cats.  I can't resist Kleenix and napkins.  I'm well past the three strikes law.  Are mom and dad going to send me back to the SPCA?  I doubt it.  They haven't yet.  the cycle will continue.  Mom and dad have to remember I am just a dog doing my job.

Copyright 2014
email:  daisydog1@cfl.rr.com

THE TALK

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "Cats motto:  No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
                                                                                    unknown

THIS IS:  Get a balanced life month.


Mom had the talk again with me over the weekend.  I tried getting on the back of the sofa again to walk on the window ledge like my siblings do.  Mom would have none of it.  I tried at least five times and each time she'd grab me by my collar and try to pull me off.  But ha!  I am stronger than mom's arm.  Being the good dog that I am, I decided to come down by myself.  This is what mom said to me.

"Daisy, sit."  I sat.  "You and your siblings are two different kinds of species."

"Not really, mom.  We all have tails, four legs, paws, wet noses and fur. "

"You're right, Daisy.  But your siblings are cats.  Cats usually don't like dogs, but these are two well-adjusted cats." 

How can they not like dogs?  All we want to do is play with them.  You know the song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?"

"That's an entirely different meaning,"  Mom said, seemingly getting annoyed with me.

"Dogs are usually so much larger than cats,"  mom continued, "Some dogs can get pretty rough.  You've swiped Mickey and Minnie before and you've knocked them down.  They are frightened."

"I don't mean to scare them.  Besides, they jump on things I cannot reach.  I just want them to know who's the boss around here."

"I am."

"Right.  I'm second then."

"No dad is."

"Then I'm third. "

Only if you don't hurt or scare your sibs."

"Oh, okay."

"So you won't try to get on the window ledge again, Daisy?"

"All I can promise is that I'll try not to."

"If that's the best you can do, we can work with that."

"Okay.  We're good then you and me.  You won't tell dad?"

"Yes Daisy.  We're good and I won't tell dad.  But he will read about it."

"Mom caved.  The puppy eyes worked.  I'll wait a few days and try again."

Copyright 2014
e-mail:  daisydog1@cfl.rr.com

THE NEED TO VENT

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "The only disability in life is a bad attitude."  Scott Hamilton

THIS IS:  National Novel Writing Month, Adopt A Senior Pet Month, and Manatee Awareness Month

TODAY IS:  Have A Bad Day Day

Mom and Dad went on a nice vacation a few weeks ago to Las Vegas.  They had a great time, but they left me home.  That's okay, though, because they take me to this really nice place where I get play dates every day.  I love meeting new friends and showing first-timers the ropes.  I am always excited when Mom and Dad come to get me because I hate sleeping alone.

Mom  wants to write something now...she needs to vent.

Don and I went to Sea World a few evenings ago to see their Christmas shows.  A few nights later we went to Disney's Hollywood Studios to see the Christmas lights.     I didn't realize how difficult it was for him to push me in a wheelchair until I got my scooter and had to navigate the crowds myself.

One lady in particular at Sea World really ticked me off.   She cut in front of me and I almost ran into her.  She turned and gave me a nasty glare.  I said,  "I'm sorry I got your way maam." Then I went on my way.  I could feel her glare on my back.

Don says to just ignore those types of people.  This hard for me since I can be combative and very sarcastic.

 One would think children would be the worst offenders, but, not so,  really the adults are worse.  Most kids say "Excuse me "and step out of the way than there parents.   One girl almost walked right in the front of me because she was too busy looking at her cell phone. Did she say anything like sorry or excuse me?  of course not.

Okay. I've had my say.

 Mom does have a point.  People when you're in crowded places with  lots of stuff going on, please pay more attention to the people around you. You'll avoid getting hurt  or hurting someone else.

Love,
  Daisy

Copyright 2013
e-mail:  daisydog1@cfl.rr.com

ROLE MODELS

THIS IS:  Adopt A Senior Pet Month

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."  Albert Camus

There are two other pets in this household.  And, they are sort of my of my role models.   One  of them, Mickey, doesn't like me very much. Whenever I walked past him,  he swats at me with his paw.  He doesn't realize  he is declawed.

The other pet, Minnie, likes me... I can tell. She comes up to me, and we are nose to nose.  She's pretty.  She is gray and peach and has a sweet face.   When I  chase them, Minnie knows it's playful.   Mickey's just plain afraid.

 I watch them and learn from them. They are allowed on all the furniture and counters.   One day I saw Minnie on the back of the sofa, and on the window ledge.  When I try to do those things I get scolded.  Granted, the other pets are only 10 to 15 pounds, and I am a hefty 45  pounds.   I saw Mickey  on dad's desk.  I tried it and got a good scolding.   Mickey he still goes there, I don't. 

I saw Minnie on an end table the porch.   Mom  grabbed my collar, pulled me off and told me NO several times when I tried it.  I don't get it.   On the other hand, mom and dad take me outdoors to do my business and let me run.  Those two other pets, don't get to go outside .  Ha!  They have to use an indoor  potty.   My favorite thing to do that those other two can't is to get up the sofa  and wrap my body around mom's back and snuggle up close.  I know Mom  likes it. 

Copyright 2013
e-mail:  daisydog1@cfl.rr.com

THE GREAT HUNTER

THIS IS:  Apple Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Adopt a Shelter Dog Month, AIDS Awareness Month

QUOTE OF THE DAY;  "In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.                                                                                                                         W.H. Auden


  Whenever I am outside, I love to chase the gray creatures.   I used to chase lizards, but they are too fast and too small.  I leave that job to Minnie.  The gray creatures have cute, pointy ears and beautiful bushy tails. Mom and dad call them squirrels. 

 When we go to the dog run they are in abundance.   Sometime there are two or three of them, but mostly they are loners.   They are fast, but if they didn't have trees to run and hide in, I know I would catch one.

 Mom says they like to tease me. They sit on a branch and start talking up a storm.   They are noisy.

 There is also a brick fence that they run along. I chase them as far as I can then they jump on a tree.  I tried climbing a tree, but I don't get very high. 

 What would I do if I caught one?  Toss it up in the air, catch it, and strut around proud of the fact that I caught one.   Then I'd take it to mom.   She would be so proud of me.

 I would try to make it squeak, too, just like the ones mom caught and brought home to me for being a good dog.   The ones mom brought home, have the same pointy ears and bushy tails  but they don't run when I go after them.  I wonder why?

Copyright 2013
e-mail:  daisydog1@CFL.RR.COM

MOM AND THE POO

THIS IS:  AKC Responsible Dog Ownership Month

QUOTE OF THE DAY:   "The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog."    Carrie Underwood


 Mom keeps trying  to become more independent each day.  She likes to try new things to see if she can do them.   Her most recent effort didn't work out too well. She told dad she wanted to take me to the dog run on her own.  Dad  said he'd ride on the back of the golf can't and not help out at all.  And he didn't.   But he did laugh a lot.

Mom  has been driving the golf cart for a few months now with no problems navigating.   She's really good at it. It didn't surprise me or dad when we got to the run safely.

 We pulled into the run and  mom had to close the gate.  she stepped out of the golf cart and waddled to the gate with me on my leash in tow. 

 Okay.  Mission accomplished.   I was let loose to run and chase squirrels.

When I stopped to do my duty,  mom hobbled over and picked it up in the familiar  green bag.  She couldn't close it with one hand,  and I heard dad say, "So now what are you going to do?" and he was laughing.  Somehow she got it right but she couldn't tie it.   She placed the bag in a cup holder until we could get the trash can.  Mom can now pick things up  without losing her balance. I think dad  was impressed when she picked up my poo.

 Mom drove the golf cart and I ran back to gate.  However to get more exercise, mom turned the golf cart around and drove to the other end of the run again. I chased  more squirrels on my run back.

 When we got back to the gate, mom got out of the cart, grabbed the bag, and walked a few steps to the trash can.  It is on an incline, and mom isn't walking too good on those yet,   especially without a cane.  Dad was laughing again and asked what she was going to do with it.  Mom said,  "Bring it home,  of course, for you to take care of."  Dad took the poo bag from mom and placed it in the trash can.

Mom then  put the leash on me, opened the gate, got me into the cart, and then we drove home.

 All and all, I think mom did a good job, but I think it would be much easier for her to take me to the small run in the back near the recycling bins.   Dad agreed.

  I gotta say, mom is trying real hard to help out, but I heard her say to dad,  "How  independent do I really want to be?"

Copyright 2013
e-mail:  daisydog1.cfl.rr.com

WHAT NOT TO WEAR

THIS IS:  Happy Cat Month

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "Don't be into trends.  Don't make fashion own you, but 
you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way you live.
                                                                                  Gianni Versace


 Mom was watching Kelly and Michael the other morning when Howie Mandel came to the stage.    She couldn't believe her eyes.   He was wearing a pair of capris.  Where were the fashion police.    What designer made them for men?   When mom goes to a theme park,  she often sees men wearing capris.   She told me Brits seem to wear them the most.  Maybe that explains the trend.   It's not a good look for men. It just looks plain silly.  Mom says there are certain things a man should not wear.  Capris are one of them.   She said you see it all at theme parks.

 Other no-nos:  How about stilettos.   Yes, Mom has seen woman heels.  I bet they don't go on the rides.  Or how about the shorts  (mostly women and a few men)  where the legs ride up to the crotch and get all bunched up.   Isn't that just a bit uncomfortable? How about the shorts that are too tight.  Women - look in the mirror at the rear, too. 

 Also, please wear clothes not pajamas.  I know PJs are comfortable, but to a theme park?  Really?  That's like wearing curlers to the supermarket.  Yeah, Mom has seen it all.

Copyright 2013
e-mail:  Daisydog@cfl.rr.com